Thursday, August 28, 2025

Milwaukee

 

Milwaukee didn’t survive the Hodgepocalypse because it was lucky. It survived because it was stubborn. When the revelations tore the world apart and the Necromantic Wars bled it dry, this city of smoke and steel refused to sink into Lake Michigan like so many others. Its skyline, rust-bitten and bone-white under the soot, still cuts the clouds like a row of broken teeth.

Here, people learned to reforge ruins into lifelines. Breweries became alchemical forges; machine shops turned into scrapyard temples where sparks fly like fireflies. You can smell it in the air—ozone, oil, and old sweat. Milwaukee is a place where the living barter with the dead, where species from a dozen worlds rub elbows in guildhalls lit by furnace glow. It is not safe, it is not clean, and it certainly isn’t fair—but it endures. And endurance is the only currency left that matters.

Historical Foundations



The following account is pulled from the journals of “Rust-Eye” Callahan, self-appointed chronicler of Milwaukee’s rebirth. Callahan was no scholar, just an old dockworker with a bad memory, a flask of fungal gin, and a taste for exaggeration. His version of history is as full of holes as the city itself—but it’s the story most folks tell around the scrapyard fires.

“They say Milwaukee was built on three things: beer, blood, and busted knuckles. The Potawatomi and Ojibwe knew the land first, knew the rivers before they stank of grease. Then came the fur traders, then the Germans with their breweries, and the Poles with their muscle. By the time the 20th century came roaring in, the city was a machine—gears turning, chimneys choking the sky.

Now, I’ll be honest with you—I wasn’t there for all that. Most of what I know comes from old signs and ghost stories. But the way I figure it, the city was always about work. Work the soil, work the steel, work the brew—the kind of place where even your free time stank of sweat.

Then came the 21st. Folks traded hammers for laptops, smokestacks for biotech towers. Still blue-collar at the heart, but the collars got cleaner. They call it a ‘blue island’ now—tolerant, loud, a little too proud of its festivals. You could dance to a dozen different bands in a dozen other neighborhoods and eat pierogi in one block, tacos in the next. Didn’t stop the cracks, though. Inequality, segregation—Milwaukee carried those scars before the end of the world.

When the Hodgepocalypse hit? Most cities went down screaming. Milwaukee grounds its teeth and kept going. Lake Michigan fed the people when the fields burned. The old breweries turned out brews that burned hotter than gasoline, good enough to keep the lights flickering. And the people? They cobbled their lives together from rust and ruin, same as always. Some say it was pride. Me, I say it was stubbornness.

Now the city breathes a new kind of smoke. The guilds keep the wheels turning, the port hauls in whatever scraps the Great Lakes cough up, and the neighborhoods cling together like families in a storm. Milwaukee’s no paradise. But it’s alive—and after all this, that’s saying something.”

Government and Structure



Milwaukee’s system of governance is not the product of a grand design but the outgrowth of its past. Long before the Hodgepocalypse, the city had been a patchwork of neighborhoods, immigrant communities, and labor unions, each carving out its own space and voice. That legacy of grassroots activism and working-class grit carried through the collapse, shaping a model of survival that favors local leadership and collective responsibility over centralized authority. Decisions are forged as much in crowded guildhalls and smoke-stained assembly rooms as in any formal chamber, and compromise is the currency that keeps the city alive.

The modern city functions as a confederation of neighborhoods. Each district is self-governing mainly, with its council made up of leaders chosen by reputation, skill, or sheer necessity. These councils send their delegates to a central assembly, where city-wide concerns—trade, defense, the management of Lake Michigan’s vital resources—are argued out with the same fervor once reserved for labor disputes. The debates can be raucous, but the system ensures that no single faction holds unchecked power and that every neighborhood has its voice heard in the clamor.

Overlaying this civic framework are the guilds, whose influence reaches into every corner of daily life. The Brewers’ Guild, descended from the city’s brewing dynasties, has transformed into a brotherhood of alchemists and potion-makers whose concoctions keep the city fueled. The Engineers’ Guild, masters of salvage and improvisation, patch the bones of the city together from rust and ruin. The Defenders’ Guild maintains the walls and patrols the buffer zones, blending discipline with the grit of old union militias. These guilds do more than provide stability; they embody the industrial soul of Milwaukee, each hammer strike or boiling vat a reminder of the city’s will to endure.

Presiding over this patchwork order is the Mayor of the Forge, a figure more symbolic than authoritarian. Chosen by the assembly and guildmasters for their wisdom, reputation, or ability to keep warring factions at bay, the Mayor acts as mediator and envoy, representing Milwaukee in its dealings with outsiders. Terms are kept short, no more than a handful of years, to prevent the office from becoming a throne. Often, the Mayor is a retired guildmaster, elder statesman, or figure respected across species lines, chosen less for ambition than for their ability to hold the city together with calloused hands.

An advisory council of elders lends further weight to the assembly’s decisions. Long-lived species such as elves, Fossileborn, and gnomes often take these seats, their perspective stretching across generations. While their voices do not command, they remind the younger and more hot-blooded leaders of the city’s hard-earned lessons, grounding present ambitions in the memory of past scars. Together, this decentralized web of councils, guilds, and advisors ensures that Milwaukee’s government remains a reflection of its people: noisy, rough-hewn, and forever marked by the clang of the forge.

Law and Order



Milwaukee’s approach to law and order is as rough-hewn as the rest of its institutions. With no centralized police force surviving the Hodgepocalypse, the city fell back on traditions older than the nation itself. The medieval Frank Pledge system, once long forgotten, found new life on Milwaukee’s streets. Each neighborhood became responsible for its safety, and every household was bound to watch over the next. What began as vigilante patrols hardened into an accepted structure: neighborhood councils raising “Watchers” from their ranks, sworn not by uniform or badge, but by the simple duty of keeping their blocks alive.

These Watchers act as both militia and constables, patrolling the alleys, guarding markets, and stepping in when disputes turn violent. Their authority is rooted in community trust rather than statute books, though echoes of old Wisconsin law creep back in. Terms like disorderly conduct and trespass are still muttered at hearings, even if the legal codes they came from lie buried in dust. What matters is precedent: neighborhoods remember what worked, and they enforce it with a mix of pride, suspicion, and sometimes the blunt end of a hammer.

When disputes rise above the level of fistfights, they are carried to trial by the guild. Panels of elders and masters—brewers, engineers, defenders—sit in judgment, weighing facts and custom in equal measure. A verdict may call for fines paid in labor or goods, exile from a neighborhood, or in the rarest and most serious cases, the branding of an outlaw mark. In this way, justice is hammered out like steel on an anvil: hot, loud, and not always fair, but durable enough to hold.

Yet Milwaukee is not only a city of humans. Its survival depends on the fragile coexistence of species and factions, and so the Pact of Coexistence was written—not on parchment but carved into stone and welded into iron. This pact codifies the uneasy peace that keeps the streets from burning. The so-called Undead Code grants refuge to those risen from the Necromantic Wars but binds them to districts set aside for their kind, with strictures against feeding and necrotic magic. They are citizens, but citizens under watch.

Likewise, magic itself is subject to oversight. Alchemists, hedge-wizards, and Faustian mechanists are all required to register their crafts with a guild, a practice eerily similar to pre-war licensing laws. Those caught casting outside the guild’s approval risk fines, confiscation of their grimoires, or worse, banishment into the cold beyond the walls. To the city’s leaders, unlicensed magic is no different from unlicensed firearms once were in Wisconsin law: a threat not just to individuals, but to the fragile order of the whole.

Milwaukee’s law is not written in marble halls or backed by the threat of federal courts. It is written in soot, smoke, and the memory of neighbors who still recall what it cost to lose everything. Justice here is communal, provisional, and industrial in spirit: welded together from precedent, sweat, and the determination not to let chaos have the last word.

Foreign Relations

 Milwaukee sits at a crossroads of the inland seas, too valuable to ignore and too vulnerable to stand alone. Its industry and trade routes have made it a prize in every age, and in the aftermath of the Hodgepocalypse, it has learned to balance diplomacy with the clang of its forges. Where Chicago has surrendered to the Corpsemen and their Fallen Lords, Milwaukee has chosen militias, guilds, and wary diplomacy to hold its ground.

Relations with Chicago – The Corpsemen to the South

“Rust fights rot—that’s the way of it. Better to stink of oil than of grave dirt.” – common saying among Milwaukee Defenders.



No relationship shapes Milwaukee’s foreign policy more than its uneasy standoff with Chicago. The Corpsemen, a necro-industrial juggernaut ruled by the Fallen Lords, regard Milwaukee as both rival and resource. Milwaukeeans are pragmatic—they will trade spare parts, enchanted iron, or even alchemical brews with Corpseman agents, but the militia councils never let their guard down. Every guild keeps emergency stockpiles “for the day Chicago marches north,” and watchfires burn along the southern rail-lines and highways.

Northern Ties – The Apostles and the Door

“The lake never forgets. It takes your body, your ship, your secrets—and still asks for more.” – overheard at the Rust Harbor taverns.



To the north, Milwaukee’s lifeline winds along the coast toward the Apostle Islands and the Door Peninsula. The Apostles are haunted by the ghost fleet of the Witch, whose fog-bound armadas prey on traders. Milwaukee has adapted with innovations in ship-forging: ironclad barges, rune-marked lanterns, and militia flotillas meant to fight or flee at a moment’s notice. The Door Peninsula, meanwhile, is ruled by the Green Warden and the Rainmaker Circle. They provide rare herbs, enchanted roots, and druidic wisdom in exchange for careful tribute and ritual respect. Milwaukee’s alchemists serve double duty as envoys, since without Door County’s flora, the Brewers’ Guild would wither. 

Mackinac Island – Neutral Trade Rival

“Every treaty signed there feels like we’re drinking someone else’s beer.” – grumble of a Brewers’ Guild envoy.



Further east lies Mackinac Island, whose neutral courts and retrofitted shipwrights shape much of the lake’s politics. Milwaukee resents the island’s reputation as a neutral meeting ground, seeing it as a rival that siphons contracts and prestige. Yet the city’s militias know they cannot afford to alienate Mackinac outright: too many pirate crews and mercenary fleets hold to its neutrality. Milwaukee thus plays a careful game, sending envoys to Mackinac’s courts while strengthening its own militia fleets in preparation for the day neutrality fails.

Militia Diplomacy – The Rusty Fortress Abroad

“Our word is iron; our handshake is steel. If either break, you’ll hear the hammer.” – oath of the Defenders’ Guild



Unlike cities that rely on old-world bureaucracy, Milwaukee projects strength through its militias and guilds. Diplomats often travel with visible contingents of armed Watchers, their soot-stained armor a reminder that the city’s diplomacy is backed by its forges. Neighboring towns and enclaves respect this—Milwaukee is seen not as a lofty capital but as a gritty, pragmatic partner whose word carries weight because it is always prepared to fight for it.

Milwaukee endures not by chance, but by iron, sweat, and stubborn will. It is a rust-red fortress city whose smoke-stained militias and guild halls stand as a reminder that survival requires both pragmatism and pride. Between the necro-foundries of Chicago and the haunted channels of the Apostles, Milwaukee holds the line—trading with one hand, gripping a weapon with the other. To its neighbors, it is neither saint nor monster, but a city that refuses to die, hammering out its future on anvils that never cool.

Species of the city

Bogey



Bogeys are the children of shadow, fear, and story—yet they walk Milwaukee’s streets as surely as any human, dwarf, or elf would. Rather than being monsters lurking in the alleys, many Bogeys see themselves as citizens of the city, though the anxieties of those around them shape their existence. Their forms tend to be fluid, reflecting fragments of nightmares, masks, or urban legends, but Bogeys are self-aware and can stabilize their appearance with effort. A Bogey PC might struggle with how others react to them: feared as haunters, hired as spies, or courted as guardians against worse things that stalk the night.

In daily life, Bogeys gravitate to the city’s margins—rusted factories, abandoned rail yards, half-lit speakeasies—yet they also serve as negotiators, informants, and tricksters within Milwaukee’s guilds. Some neighborhood councils treat Bogeys as a necessary counterweight, using them to root out corruption or scare off rivals. Others view them as a civic issue, enforcing curfews and laws to control Bogeys. For the Bogey themselves, identity is both a curse and a power: they are walking stories in a city that remembers too much. Whether as adventurers, diplomats, or saboteurs, Bogeys bring the city’s hidden fears into the open—and force Milwaukee to reckon with them.

Feylin



The Feylin are whimsical city-fae born from the echoes of pop culture, neon nights, and half-remembered folklore. Drawn to abandoned theaters, dusty record shops, and festival grounds that pulse with collective memory, they weave enchantment from nostalgia itself. Equal parts trickster and tastemaker, Feylin thrive as DJs, festival organizers, and performers who blur the line between magic show and cultural movement. Some trade in memories like others trade in coins, while others bend fashion and trends through mischievous glamour. Though often playful, their influence carries weight—Feylin shape how mortals remember the past and imagine the future, for better or worse.

Fossileborn



The Fossileborn are living echoes of a world that never fully died, hybrids of infernal lineage and saurian ancestry who embody raw survival against extinction. In the crumbled industrial landscapes of the Hodgepocalypse, they stride like primal guardians—scaled, horned, and unyielding, their very presence a reminder that history’s bones still walk. Some embrace tribal traditions, wielding ancient instincts to lead clans on the city’s fringes; others sell their ferocity as enforcers and shock troops to factions hungry for power. In Milwaukee, where factories rust beside monuments of history, the Fossileborn resonate as symbols of rebirth: creatures who refused to be programmed into oblivion, now standing tall as living fossils armed with teeth, claws, and fire-forged will.

Garter Folk



The Garterfolk slither through Milwaukee’s forgotten tunnels and abandoned factories with an ease that makes them both unsettling and indispensable. Born from mutations of common garter snakes and touched by Dreamtime energies, these snake-people thrive in tight, overheated spaces where others can’t survive. They gather in sprawling, chaotic colonies—sometimes dozens, sometimes thousands—where warmth, closeness, and celebration define their culture. To outsiders, their open sensuality and strange etiquette are disarming, but their friendliness and knack for weaving connections often turn enemies into partners. In the post-apocalyptic cityscape, Garterfolk become natural scouts, mystics, and lorekeepers, slipping unseen into the crevices of power struggles or offering their unique perspective as unflinching diplomats who are truthful to a fault. Always underestimated as “snakes in the ruins,” they are survivors, equally at home in a neon dive bar or a crumbling sewer shrine.

Harlowe



Once winged warriors from another dimension, the Desecrator Lord Asmoday twisted the Harlowes into tools of seduction, espionage, and death. For centuries, they served as courtesans and assassins, their wings clipped not in body but in spirit. When the Desecrators were dragged to Earth, however, cracks in that system allowed rebellion to flare—and Harlowes embraced freedom with a vengeance. Now, they walk the wastelands as beautiful exiles, their feathered hair shimmering in hues of black, blue, or white, their obsidian eyes glowing in the dark. They are guarded and scarred, shaped by centuries of oppression, yet wield charisma and cunning like weapons. Some manipulate court intrigue, others rally freedom-fighters, but all embody a dangerous balance of trauma and power. A Harlowe’s trust is rare, their companionship a treasure, and their fury a curse best avoided.

Kamidaver



The Kamidaver are accepted in Milwaukee not out of love, but out of grim necessity. Once stuntmen, daredevils, or performers who refused to stay buried, they now find their niche in the Rotwild Coliseum, where their ability to die spectacularly and return again makes them the ultimate entertainers. To most citizens, they are unsettling reminders of mortality, their scarred bodies and stitched flesh walking proof that the line between life and death is thinner than ever. Still, Milwaukee tolerates them, for their presence fuels the economy of spectacle, keeps the masses distracted, and provides a vent for violence that might otherwise tear the city apart. The living may flinch at their eerie smiles, but the Kamidaver have become woven into the city’s culture—half pariah, half icon—because no one else can put on a show quite like the dead who refused to stay down.

Mechanical Life Forms (MLF)



The Mechanical Life Forms of Milwaukee are not sleek utopians, but rust-stained survivors forged from the city’s industrial past. Awakened in abandoned breweries, steel mills, and scrapyards, they see themselves as the new working class — stubborn, proud, and scarred like the factories they inhabit. Some cling to their forges as guardians, others form “Circuit Unions” that echo the old labor guilds, while zealots in the Cybercult preach that the Forge is God and Code is Gospel. To outsiders, Milwaukee’s MLFs may look like broken machines, but within their dented frames burn memories of labor songs, baseball scores, and union pride — and they will defend their Rust Spire shrines and their place in the city as fiercely as any flesh-born.

Mothfolk



In Milwaukee, the Mothfolk carve out quiet sanctuaries in forgotten corners of the city—abandoned breweries, derelict warehouses, and half-collapsed rail tunnels. Their colonies thrive in the shadows of rusting steel and crumbling brick, where the hum of old machinery mixes with the flutter of their wings. To the city’s survivors, they are unsettling omens: watchful, silent, their luminous eyes glinting from the rafters. Some whisper that they are seers of impending catastrophe, while others accuse them of harboring secrets stolen from the depths of Fort Pleasant’s mines. Yet in truth, Milwaukee’s Mothfolk see themselves as keepers of balance, mediating between the industrial scars of the past and the uncertain future of the apocalypse. They move like living urban legends—half feared, half revered—offering cryptic guidance to those willing to listen, and sudden, dazzling fury to those who would threaten their fragile kin.

Transband



In the post-apocalyptic sprawl of Milwaukee, the TrashBands have carved out a peculiar niche as both scavenger kings and urban tricksters. Beneath the rusted skeletons of breweries, factories, and rail lines, their sewer warrens and rooftop shanties form a hidden city-within-a-city. They thrive in the wreckage of industry, viewing Milwaukee’s endless scrap, bottle caps, and discarded tech as a sacred treasure hoard. To wastelanders, the TrashBands are guides through the labyrinthine ruins, smugglers who know every storm drain, and keepers of secrets whispered in neon-lit alleys. Yet they are also Milwaukee’s mischievous conscience—forever raiding tyrant strongholds, redistributing “shinies,” and mocking those who try to hoard power. To ally with them is to gain eyes and ears across the city’s underbelly; to cross them is to wake up stripped of everything but your socks and pride.

Trollitariot



When Milwaukee’s glass towers fell and the stadiums emptied, it was the Trollitariot who stayed behind and got to work. Drawn from their Dreamtime exile into a ruined city that finally gave them tasks worth sweating for, they rebuilt blockades, patched collapsed highways, and raised the gutted skeleton of the Brewers’ old stadium into a fortress of brick, scrap, and stubborn willpower. Their unions became councils, their muttered curses became law, and Hollow Hill stands now as both a refuge and a warning: here, order is maintained not by nobility or faith, but by the grumbling, tireless labor of Trollitariot bosses and quarrymen who’d rather break their backs than their word. Other species mock their circular speeches and ribald humor, but no one denies that without them, Milwaukee would have sunk into the tar pits long ago.

Locations of Note

Bronzegut Yards (Inspired by the Milwaukee Iron Works)

 


Once a sprawling foundry district, Bronzegut Yards has been reborn as a massive junkyard and repair hub under the iron stewardship of the Mechanical Life Forms. The place groans with the sounds of welding torches, grinding gears, and repurposed necro-tech being hammered into new life. Piles of rusted war machines and shattered prosthetics form labyrinthine scrapyards, while makeshift workshops churn out jury-rigged vehicles, weapons, and artificial limbs. It is both a marketplace and a forge-temple—where scavengers bring their finds to be reforged, and where the sparks of innovation fly brightest in Milwaukee’s chaos.

Plot Hooks:

·       A faction war brews after a scavenger uncovers a forbidden war relic in the Yard—do the PCs claim it, destroy it, or sell it to the highest bidder?

·        A charismatic MLF foreman seeks help to stop a sabotage campaign by rival scavenger gangs, but his “repairs” might be fusing more than just metal and machine.

Deepshore Warrens (Inspired by the Milwaukee Riverwalk)

 


Once the proud Riverwalk, the Deepshore Warrens have sunk into a half-drowned maze of tunnels, collapsed walkways, and makeshift bridges strung with scavenged lights. The waters below churn with oily reflections, hiding Garter Folk nests and Feylin gang hideouts in the shadows. Smugglers and outcasts thrive here, trading in contraband, secrets, and favors while the ever-present risk of ambush or drowning keeps outsiders on edge. It is a place where the city breathes its secrets, and where every deal comes with a ripple of danger.

Plot Hooks:

·       A smuggling run through the Warrens has gone wrong—now the adventurers must navigate flooded tunnels while rival gangs and unseen river predators close in.

·       Rumors spread of a Feylin gang hoarding an artifact in the deepest flooded chambers, but to reach it means diving into waters where the Garter Folk hold dominion.

Eldritch Overlook (Inspired by the Milwaukee Art Museum)

 


Once a gleaming symbol of culture, the great wings of the Overlook now spread as a shrine to the restless powers of the Great Lakes. Its gleaming halls echo with strange hymns, where Fossilborn relics and lake-spirits’ offerings are displayed like sacred art. Cultish Verkhail guardians—half-priests, half-sentinels—stand watch over relics that bend the boundary between history and magic. Few dare to linger here, for whispers claim that the artifacts themselves hunger for recognition, and that to look too long upon certain pieces is to invite madness or transformation.

Plot Hooks:

·       The Verkhail are preparing a grand ritual that will “awaken” one of the Overlook’s most powerful relics—unless the heroes can stop it before the city drowns in lake-born nightmares.

·       An ally has gone missing after entering the museum’s archives, and the only way to find them is to brave the Overlook’s shifting galleries and confront the spirits that now claim the place as their temple.

The Fanged Brewworks (Inspired by the Pabst Brewery)

 


Rising from the husk of the old Pabst Brewery, the Fanged Brewworks has become a landmark of alchemical ingenuity and dangerous excess. Its battered vats and copper stills no longer churn out beer for the living, but instead bubble with potions, serums, and intoxicants whose effects range from miraculous healing to nightmarish hallucinations. Undead laborers stir cauldrons without need for breath, while Fossilborn heft barrels of volatile reagents immune to explosions that would fell mortals. The air is heavy with strange fumes, a cocktail of ethanol, brimstone, and lake mist, but for Milwaukee’s desperate and daring, the brewworks is both lifeline and powder keg. Here, resilience and creativity ferment together—often with explosive results.

Plot Hooks:

·       A guild war erupts when rival factions accuse each other of sabotaging a prized batch of “Blood Brew,” said to grant temporary vampiric powers.

·       A shipment of enchanted kegs goes missing on the Great Lakes trade routes—whoever recovers them may claim not only wealth but dangerous leverage over the city’s future.

Gravewater Greenway (Inspired by Lake Park)


Once a jewel of Milwaukee’s landscape, the old park has grown into a spectral woodland where the trees whisper with the voices of the dead. Ghostly lights drift among the roots, marking graves long forgotten, while vines wrap around rusting playgrounds and shattered statues. The Harlowe caretakers tend the spirits as if pruning a garden, ensuring restless dead do not wander, while Fossilborn rangers stalk the shadows, hunting those who would defile the balance. It is both sanctuary and warning—nature preserved only by binding itself to death.

Plot Hooks:

·       A surge of angry ghosts has broken through the Harlowe wards, and the Fossilborn demand outside help before the Greenway overruns the city.

·       A strange relic lies hidden in the heart of the forest, but every path to it seems to twist back upon itself—unless guided by the whispers of the dead.

Hollow Hill (Inspired by the Miller Park / American Family Field)

 


Once a monument to spectacle and roaring crowds, the old stadium now serves as Milwaukee’s great fortress-market. Its cavernous stands have been gutted into warrens of stalls, taverns, and trading posts, all overlooked by massive floodlights repurposed as watchtowers. At its heart sits the Trollitariot Council, practical and unyielding, who maintain order with brutal efficiency.   Hollow Hill remains the city’s most important hub for survival, diplomacy, and smuggling alike. The stadium’s very bones rumble with the echoes of cheers long past, now replaced by the chants of barter and the clash of mercenary blades.

Plot Hooks:

·       A rival faction seeks to sabotage the Trollitariot Council, and the player characters must navigate Hollow Hill’s treacherous stalls to uncover who is pulling the strings.

·       A legendary artifact is rumored to be hidden beneath the old dugouts, but gaining access requires appeasing both the Trollitariots and the Haraak before venturing into the labyrinth below.

 

Necrotide Harbor (Inspired by the Port of Milwaukee)

 


Once the proud Port of Milwaukee, the harbor now thrums with a rhythm equal parts industrial and unearthly. Undead dockworkers, bound by necromantic contracts, move tirelessly through mist-shrouded cranes and cargo bays, hauling salvage, enchanted goods, and contraband alike. The living traders who come here speak in hushed tones, knowing one misstep could bring down the wrath of their skeletal coworkers—or the guilds that control them. Despite the eerie atmosphere, the harbor is indispensable, feeding the city with resources pulled from across the Great Lakes and beyond. Necrotide Harbor embodies the uneasy truce between survival and the unnatural, where commerce has chained death itself to labor.

Plot Hooks:

  • A shipment of cursed cargo threatens to awaken something beneath the waters, and only those brave enough to venture into the docks at midnight can stop it.
  • The living unions and undead guilds teeter on the brink of a violent strike, and adventurers may have to pick a side—or find a way to broker peace before trade grinds to a halt.

The Rotwild Coliseum (Inspired by the Fiserv Forum)

 


Once the pride of sporting events and civic pride, the Coliseum has been reborn as the city’s most fantastic arena of survival and spectacle. Its blood-soaked floor now plays host to gladiatorial duels, theatrical death-dramas, and musical showdowns where entire bands fight for their fans’ lives. The undead stuntmen of the Kamidaver dominate the stage, pulling off outrageous feats of pain and defiance that blur the line between performance and martyrdom. What was once entertainment has become ritual—a way for the city to both distract itself from ruin and celebrate those bold enough to test fate before roaring crowds.

Plot Hook 1:

·       The council needs outsiders to compete in a “Trial of Legends,” where survival earns respect—and failure feeds the Coliseum floor.

·       A Kamidaver performer whispers of a conspiracy behind the games, begging the PCs to help unravel the strings of those who truly profit from blood and applause.

The Rustspire (Inspired by the US Bank Center)

 


Once Milwaukee’s proudest skyscraper, the Rustspire now looms as a scarlet-stained citadel of ambition. Its upper levels are controlled by Transbands, a type of radioactive Raccoon humanoids. Within its reinforced shell, Faustian Mechanics experiments with forbidden machinery, stitching together otherworldly energy and industrial remnants. The building hums at all hours—an ominous chorus of turbines, crackling arcane conduits, and voices chanting in unknown tongues. For many, it is a beacon of progress; for others, a warning that some doors should remain closed.

Plot Hook: A mysterious pulse from the Rustspire has begun disrupting magical wards across the city, threatening to unravel protections everywhere. The party must either negotiate with the Transbands or infiltrate the tower before the city’s fragile balance collapses.

The Spire of Stories (Inspired by the Milwaukee Public Library)



Once a proud civic library, the Spire of Stories endured the Hodgepocalypse and emerged as one of Milwaukee’s most vital sanctuaries. Its towering facade of carved stone and cracked glass still rises above the city skyline, lit from within by the soft glow of magical lanterns. Within, the Mothfolk scholars flutter silently between towering shelves, tending to tomes of forgotten lore, maps of the Great Lakes Wastes, and relics of languages nearly lost. To adventurers, it is a beacon of knowledge and hope—one of the few places where learning is guarded as fiercely as treasure. Refugees and wanderers find not only safety here, but also guidance for the perilous roads ahead.

Plot Hook

  • The Archivist’s Bargain: The Mothfolk demand the recovery of a lost codex rumored to contain the secret history of the Great Lakes’ spirits. But the book lies deep within a haunted ruin, and retrieving it may unleash more than knowledge.
  • The Vanishing Beacon: The spire’s guiding light suddenly flickers and dies, throwing the city into unease. Who—or what—is silencing the library’s ancient wards, and why?

Beyond Millwaukee

The Driftless Area, WI


Unlike the rest of the Midwest, the Driftless Area escaped the grinding ice of the glaciers, leaving behind a land of rugged hills, plunging valleys, and labyrinthine caves. In the Hodgepocalypse, it has become a wild sanctuary, untouched by the urban decay that swallowed much of the Great Lakes Basin. Fey exiles, rogue spirits, and magical beasts made their home here when the world cracked, weaving their ancient powers into the land itself. Now, Primals—elemental avatars of stone, fire, water, and wind—roam as guardians, ensuring no would-be conqueror takes root. Hidden within karst caves and strange stone bluffs lie relics of both the Old World and the Forgotten World, waiting for those daring enough to claim them.

Plot Hook: Whispers spread of a Primal Stoneheart awakening deep in a limestone cavern, threatening to shatter the fragile peace of the Driftless. Brave adventurers must negotiate with the fey clans—or cut through them—to reach the relic before it reshapes the land forever.

The Great Lakes

The Great Lakes are a key feature of Wisconsin, and have been fleshed out here.

https://www.hodgepocalypse.com/2024/12/hodgepocalypse-ontario-thousand_12.html

https://www.hodgepocalypse.com/2024/12/hodgepocalypse-ontario-thousand_19.html

Green Bay, WI - The Frozen Battleground



Once the beating heart of football fandom, Green Bay now thrives as a city built on blood, frost, and devotion. Lambeau Field, reborn as the Gladiator’s Frozen Tundra, echoes with the roar of combat rather than touchdowns, where warlords and mercenaries clash beneath floodlights powered by scavenged generators. Overseeing these brutal games are the Cheeseheads, a zealous order of warrior-priests who venerate relics of the Packers like holy artifacts—helmets, pads, even the legendary Frozen Cheese Wheel said to radiate protective magic. Beyond the city, the frozen shores of the bay conceal ice caves filled with frost elementals and half-buried relics of the old world, their crystalline halls tempting treasure hunters while promising death to the unprepared.

Plot Hook: A warlord has declared a grand “Frozen Bowl” in Lambeau Field, where champions will fight for control of the city. But whispers say the prize isn’t power or land—it’s a relic pulled from the ice caves, a relic the Cheeseheads believe will awaken the true spirit of the Frozen Tundra.

The House on the Rock, WI

 


The House on the Rock has become a fortress of madness, a labyrinth of relics and curiosities where reality itself bends under the weight of hoarded magic. Half-sentient automatons and animated mannequins patrol its halls, each one twisted by decades of cursed energy. The infamous Infinity Room stretches out into nothingness, not just a marvel of architecture but a portal yawning into forgotten worlds and dimensions best left sealed. Lost souls wander the endless corridors, their whispers luring the curious deeper, while the wizard who claims ownership dares any intruder to challenge his collection of impossible wonders.

Plot Hook: An artifact critical to survival in the Great Lakes Wastes has been traced to the wizard’s hoard—recovering it means braving the cursed halls and bargaining with, or defeating, its eccentric master. But once inside, the Infinity Room begins to open at random, threatening to swallow the city in whatever world lies beyond

The Arcane University of the Lakes



Madison stands as a fractured jewel of learning and sorcery, where the ruins of academia have been reforged into a bastion of magical authority. The sprawling campus of the University is now a labyrinth of enchanted halls, each ruled by eccentric wizard-professors who duel as often as they debate. At the heart of the city, the gleaming white dome of the State Capitol has been reshaped into a citadel of mage-lords—equal parts library, fortress, and court of intrigue. Around it, Lake Mendota and Lake Monona seethe with fey remnants and ancient water spirits who whisper secrets or strike bargains with reckless scholars. Madison thrives on this uneasy marriage of scholarship and sorcery, but it teeters on the edge of corruption and arcane disaster.

Plot Hook: A stolen relic from the Capitol has awakened a vengeful spirit in the lakes, threatening to flood Madison beneath enchanted waters. The party must navigate rival wizard-professors and mage-lords, each vying for the relic, before the entire city is drowned in magical ruin.

 The Wisconsin Dells – Waterpark Ruins of the Ancients

 


What was once a cheerful mecca of slides, wave pools, and kitschy attractions has drowned under the weight of the Hodgepocalypse. Vast skeletal waterparks jut from the landscape, their rusted slides twisted like the bones of ancient serpents, while the wave pools churn with dark waters where mutated Aetherfiends, and aquatic monsters thrive. The sandstone rock formations, older than time itself, have awakened to reveal ley lines that draw sorcerers, cultists, and wandering mystics alike. The air hums with a strange power—half amusement, half apocalypse—where scavenger bands fight desperately for control of the last working lazy river, said to carry souls across realms when ridden under the full moon.

Plot Hook: A rival faction has seized control of the lazy river and begun charging blood-tolls to use it. The adventurers must infiltrate the flooded water park ruins to uncover whether the river is truly a portal—or a trap that feeds something waiting in the depths.

 

Tuesday, August 12, 2025

Kaylna Country - Part 3 - Weird Landmarks, Towns and Babas!


 Weird Landmarks of Kalyna

Some places don’t just have stories—they make ‘em up while you’re standing there.”
—Stumpy Magree

 

The Green Vault

Ukrainian Nickname: Zernohrud (“Seed-Chest”)



Buried beneath layers of earth, encryption, and half-forgotten prayers lies the Green Vault—a seedbank from before the Hodgepocalypse, once managed by PryvitGrow, now controlled by the fungal diplomats known only as the Harvesters. Lush, humid, and alive in unsettling ways, the Vault is no longer a place of preservation but negotiation: its aisles of cryo-coffins, arcane hydro-tanks, and whispering flora form a living archive of crops long lost to the world above. Access is permitted—but only through “favors” owed, bargains struck, or memories harvested. Those who enter often leave changed, seeded with more than they came f

Plot Hook:

  • A dying village seeks a drought-proof barley strain rumored to still rest in Zernohrud’s third chamber, but the Harvester who guards it wants a song that hasn’t been sung since the war.
  • A former Vault technician-turned-scarecrow has reawakened and begun growing roots through a nearby town’s dreams—he wants his “archive key” back.

 

The Painted Crossroads



At this crossroads, the dirt has soaked up so much spell-chalk, runic ink, and baba footpaint that it’s turned into a living mural. Roads shift direction overnight, and travelers who pass through might end up in the past, future, or inside someone else’s folk tale. Locals say you must sing a verse before crossing—or risk becoming a footnote.

The Root-Choked Chapel



Once a wooden church, now consumed by massive, intelligent roots. It’s partially aboveground, partially underground, and entirely alive. The pulpit preaches itself. The pews grow moss cushions. Prayers whispered here may be answered by the trees, but the cost is never clear until the next full moon.

The Singing Stove



Deep in an overgrown clearing sits a cast-iron woodstove, still warm after all these years. No fire needed—it burns on memory. It sings old songs when fed family recipes, and warps reality slightly with each verse. Leave stew in it overnight and you may wake up having dreamt a life where everything went right. Or wrong.

The Weeping Milepost



Carved from old-world concrete and rebar, this roadside milepost constantly sheds faintly glowing water. Touch it, and you’ll see visions of those who died traveling—some remembered, some erased. It’s become a shrine to lost pilgrims, truckers, and adventurers who never made it home. Sometimes it whispers names in languages no longer spoken.

The Whispering Silo



A solitary grain tower on the vast prairie, its rusted ribs now hum with other people’s dreams. Those who sleep nearby often wake with someone else’s memory—sometimes helpful, sometimes tragic, always vivid. The Silo is said to record the lives of all who pass by and, on rare occasions, answers questions no one asked aloud.

Kalyna Country Transformed: Post-Apocalyptic Folkloric Map

ong after the world cracked and the stars blinked strangely, Kalyna Country did not simply endure—it remembered. Woven from ancestral memory, mutant resilience, and the shattered ley-lines of a forgotten age, this once-rural land has become a folkloric circuit of survival and spectacle. At its heart lies the Relic Roadshow—a mystical race across nine enchanted roadside wonders, each tethered to a sacred artifact tied to the land's soul. From neon-slick cities to fungal fortresses, psychic duck parks to haunted sausage plants, each stop tests more than strength—it challenges the heart, heritage, and humor of those brave enough to walk the path. For some, it’s a contest. For others, it’s a pilgrimage. But for the land itself, it’s a ritual. One that keeps the Dreamtime stable… and the foolish entertained.

Andrew: Where the Little Bears Play


Andrew is a quiet pocket of post-Hodgepocalypse tenderness—a humble town rebuilt by Little Bears, devoted to harmony, community, and protecting their cubs. With its garlic-scented streets and echoes of a forgotten premier, this settlement seems almost too soft to survive… and yet it thrives. Most homes are cozy, compact, and filled with laughter. The enigmatic Mischief Baba, George Netudyhata, watches over the town like a grandfatherly storm cloud—equal parts entertainer and enforcer. Despite its friendly tone, Andrew holds secrets under its soil: haunted grain elevators, flaming obelisks, and visions sent from the minds of Dreamtime titans. Its greatest trial sends adventurers beyond its borders, on a quest that tests care over carnage. In Andrew, the lesson is simple: kindness is not weakness, and the smallest heroes sometimes guard the biggest relics.

The Giant Duck



Perched in a tranquil park and surrounded by play structures and laughing children, the Giant Duck exudes an eerie calm—a slumbering sentinel of dream and memory carved from ancient polymer and imbued with a soul. This towering yellow relic is more than nostalgia made manifest; it’s a living node of transfiguration and empathy, echoing the hopes of youth and the bonds of trust. Unlike its louder cousins on the Relic Roadshow circuit, the Duck does not demand conquest but communion. To awaken it, one must return its wandering avatar—a living duck carrying its essence in the form of a keychain—and ensure it arrives unharmed, body and spirit. This sacred act of guardianship activates the Duck's magic, offering blessings to those pure enough to escort it through the madness of Elk Island Eldritch Park. But beware: even serenity has protectors, and not all birds are gentle.

Ed-Town: Where Every Road Becomes a Stage



The Big city of Kaylna Country, ED-Town is Strathcan’s beating, boot-stomping heart—a sprawling urban sprawl of busted neon, psychic festivals, and spiraling ambition. Founded on revelry and reclaimed ruin, the city thrives as a cross between an open mic apocalypse and a roadside attraction theme park. Beneath its cracked pavement and modular food trucks lies a community that runs on spectacle. Everyone is either performing, recording, or being watched by something arcane. The city’s patron is the Western Baba, Helen Gretzky, but she rarely shows herself. Instead, she lets the rhythm roll—her emissaries are punk cowboys, biker mystics, and retail prophets. Whether you're jamming in the alleys or battling in the backlot arenas, Ed-Town rewards flair over form, swagger over subtlety. Here, to walk the path of heroes, you first have to strut it.  For more details of this vibrant place, see the Book of Arrogance.

The Big Boot



Towering like a titan’s castoff and smelling faintly of ozone and oilskin, the Big Boot is a relic of raw evocation—born in a decade when glam, grit, and guitar solos ruled the land. Once a roadside photo stop, it now crackles with storm-forged power, pulsing with every thunderhead and festival beat that rolls through Strathcan. Legends say it was crafted from the leather of a dream-ox and stitched by forgotten gods of showmanship. To attune to the Boot is to earn its rhythm—to stomp, strut, shred, and survive. But the path to its activation lies through the Big Bad Shop, a gauntlet of musical mayhem and commercialized chaos run by Size 13 Rage, a family of minotaur rockers who believe that only the bold—and the loud—deserve the Boot’s blessing. Pass their tests or face the mosh pit of monsters, lasers, and style-based reality distortion.

Glendon: The Town That’s Just Trying to Feed You (and Bill You)



Glendon was once a sleepy little town where the most significant concern was whether the annual garlic butter ran out before the last tour bus. Home to the world’s most famous Pyrogy, it was a welcoming—if quirky—stop on the Relic Roadshow. But now, under siege by a Corpseman platoon, Glendon has traded friendly folk songs for whispered warnings. While undead checkpoints block the roads and playgrounds are converted into sniper nests, the townsfolk remain hidden behind closed doors, quietly rooting for the PCs from behind twitching curtains. If the party succeeds, they’ll be hailed as heroes with a celebratory meal worthy of legend—potato, cheddar, sour cream, and pride. Just don’t forget your wallet: the after-party always ends with a surprise bill. In Glendon, even a thank-you comes with a receipt.

The Giant Pyrogy



Glistening with steam, anchored to a slanted fork like a weaponized dumpling of destiny, the Giant Pyrogy is more than a roadside carb-load—it’s a bastion of community spirit and culinary abjuration. Once a tourist trap celebrating Eastern European prairie pride, the relic was awakened during the Hodgepocalypse, infused with defensive magic that makes it resonate with warmth, welcome, and a hint of passive-aggressive hospitality. Now, however, it has been compromised. The Corpsemen, ravenous undead soldiers of warped bureaucracy, seek to hijack its power for necrogastronomic purposes. To attune to the Pyrogy, the party must reclaim it from siege, defuse its sabotage mechanisms, and survive both the undead and the awkward locals who never expected outsiders to save their sacred starch. Only by reclaiming the relic and honoring its spirit can the heroes earn the Pyrogy Keychain, a charm that grants resistance to necrotic effects—and indigestion.

Mundare: The Town Where Meat Meets Mysticism



Mundare is a crossroads of clashing powers and salted legacies. Nestled among cranberry bogs and ritual farmland, it thrives at the strange intersection of culinary folklore and post-apocalyptic pragmatism. At its center is a three-way struggle: the sacred Orthodoxy templars hold fast to ancestral faith; the industrial Packenpocks Production LTD churns out meat and muscle for the region’s economy; and the now-missing Gothic Baba Vera, spiritual protector of the kielbassa, once kept balance between them. As tensions bubble like broth in a blood-filled pot, the town teeters toward eruption. Residents go about their daily lives—dodging Shuffalos, chasing haunted geraniums, and debating whether to fear or feast upon desecrator raids—but all eyes are on the giant meat in the courtyard. In Mundare, heroes aren’t forged—they’re cured.

The Giant Kielbassa



Coiled like a crimson god and glistening with mystic grease, the Giant Kielbassa is more than just a massive sausage-shaped monument—it’s a necromantic artifact of power, pulsing with heat, memory, and preservation magic. Once a folkloric blessing for long winters and family feasts, its essence was twisted during the Hodgepocalypse into a meat-bound conduit of arcane energy and now housed within the Meat Locker—part shrine, part slaughterhouse—this relic fuels ovens and freezes time, its aura able to cure flesh or chill hearts. Guarded by fire, ice, and bureaucracy, the kielbassa tests more than just brute strength. To claim its favor, one must endure its trials, survive its flavors, and confront the truths wrapped in casing: that power, like sausage, is often made from unseen gristle.

Smokey Lake: Where the Vegetables Watch You Back



Once a lakeside retreat, Smokey Lake has become a glittering test plot for psychic flora, retail dreams, and sentient tourism. Reclaimed and redesigned by the Harvesters, a telepathic plant race with both agrarian zeal and corporate ambition, the town is now equal parts botanical utopia and souvenir dystopia. Everywhere you look: pod people with serene smiles, psychic billboards urging consumption, and cheerful kiosks selling produce that might talk back. Despite the saccharine façade, danger simmers under the surface—from rogue flora in fast-food kitchens to nightmare entities walking out of drugstores. Holding the peace is an uneasy pact with the Porcipine Baba, who ensures visitors get a sporting chance to face the Pumpkin Trial. Smokey Lake may look like a family-friendly roadside attraction but stay too long and you might sprout roots—or worse, be recruited for product testing.

The Concrete Pumpkin Patch



Sitting in serene defiance of entropy and autumn alike, the Concrete Pumpkin Patch is no mere gourd. This titanic squash of shimmering polymer and arcane concrete radiates latent abjuration magic—protective, reactive, and temperamental. It doesn’t just defend the land; it remembers what threatens it. Infused with the psychic biocodes of the Harvester species and sanctified by the Porcipine Baba, Ester Kishka, the relic lies hidden within a crystalline labyrinth where thought becomes terrain. Its activation requires not brute force, but careful thought, empathy, and intuition—tested in rooms that challenge perception, identity, and emotional resilience. Only by surviving this botanical mind palace can one earn the Pumpkin Keychain, a charm of harvest protection and aura-based resistance. Beware, though: the pumpkin watches, and its defenses grow stronger the more foolish your intentions.

St. Paul: Homestead of the Stars



In St. Paul, cowboy hats pair with chrome jumpsuits and cattle calls echo alongside space beacons. The town is almost entirely inhabited by Marlarkoids, a proud, mystery-cloaked species who claim extraterrestrial heritage but live the lives of prairie settlers. Equal parts ranchers and retro-futurists, they build rayguns out of farm tools, quote galactic scripture with rural twang, and retrofit UFOs in backyard garages. The community blends frontier grit with Faustian flair, treating their landing pad as both shrine and workshop. Whether you're solving the mystery of a missing mascot, tracking stolen spacecraft components, or getting slimed in a grocery store, one thing’s for sure: St. Paul welcomes all who dream big—especially if they bring snacks, don’t question the lore, and are willing to play hockey under a saucer-lit sky.

The St. Paul UFO Landing Pad



Initially built in the mid-20th century as a publicity stunt, the UFO Landing Pad of St. Paul has become the symbolic and arcane endpoint of the Relic Roadshow. While it once offered little more than photo ops and tourism brochures, the Hodgepocalypse has turned it into something far more profound: a latent Conjuration nexus and gateway to the stars—or perhaps stranger places. To awaken its power, adventurers must clear residual hauntings, restore its arcane signal beacon, and contend with the sabotage of Julia Hellyer, an agent provocateur hiding behind small-town smiles. Those who succeed gain more than just the final Keychain Relic—they open a corridor of fate, setting the stage for future contact, conflict, or ascension. The prize? Fame, a paycheck, and the potential to ride a UFO into whatever lies beyond the edge of the Hallowed World.

Vegreville: The Town That Dreams in Color



Nestled in the heart of Kalyna Country’s warped prairie, Vegreville is a resilient settlement built on layers of tradition, dream magic, and stubborn agricultural pride. Though much of the original town was lost to the Hodgepocalypse, its people endured, rebuilding along a central strip where commerce, culture, and celebration still thrive. The city pulses with community life: greenhouses that whisper, breweries haunted by taxidermy spirits, markets peddling both pies and plasma, and shrines where faith fuels travel. Overseen by Mayor Sofia Kostash and protected by eccentric defenders like a talking quilt and a retired warbot named I.V.A.N., Vegreville has become the first checkpoint for glory-seekers in the Solstice Race. But beneath its festive surface lies a deep understanding: the Pysanka gives freely only to those who embrace both folklore and fury. Here, to race is to be judged—not just by the land, but by legend itself.

The Giant Pysanka



Rising from the dream-tilled earth like a monument to hope and heritage, the Giant Pysanka is more than a roadside oddity—it is a living relic. This massive, rune-etched Easter egg hums with divinatory energy, bound to the rhythms of the land and the will of those who seek its favor. Shimmering with forgotten glyphs and chromatic wards, it channels the echoes of ancestral prayers and future visions alike. To attune to it is to awaken a bond with the Dreamtime itself—a bond overseen by the Silver Baba, who records each attempt like a folkloric census taker. But such favor is not given freely; the Pysanka is guarded by the Earthbound Great Serpent, a horned wyrm of soil and memory that reshapes the ground around the egg into a living gauntlet of trials and tremors. Defeating it is possible surviving it with honor is preferable.

Vilna: Grit, Steel, and Fungal Resolve



The town of Vilna is a case study in post-apocalyptic adaptation: once flattened by fungal mutation, now reborn as a steel-clad mushroom metropolis built by the stoic and obsessive Trollitariots. These workaholic trolls live inside hollowed-out caps, repurpose bottle depots with psychic labor, and hold civic debates over who deserves adorable mutant elephants. They value sweat, schedules, and settlement rights—every mushroom in town is deeded, every metal panel documented. At the heart of their orderly chaos is a community that blends surrealism with socialist engineering: haunted churches, trash heap tigers, public libraries policed by gremlin-resistant reading policies, and enough skill montages to make any handyman weep with joy. Outsiders are welcome—if they help fix something. Just don’t break the rules. Or the ropes. And definitely don’t make fun of the mushrooms. They’re listening.

Mushroom Prime



Fused from three titanic stalks of bio-metallic mycelium and pulsing with green luminescence, Mushroom Prime is not just a building—it’s a biomechanical colossus, a post-Hodgepocalypse temple to grit, growth, and galvanization. At its core lies a metaphysical altar, a conduit between the Hallowed World and this reality, protected by labyrinthine fungal corridors, spring-loaded deathtraps, and territorial trolls with clipboard schedules. This living fungus isn’t simply grown—it’s engineered, each cap and stalk infused with psionic steel and the memory of every Trollitariot who climbed it before. To reach the relic within—the Mushroom Keychain, symbol of resilience, industry, and earthen strength—the party must endure obstacle courses, mind-warped spores, and an invasion of Hyperdemons trying to make this place a launchpad into the wider world. Mushroom Prime doesn’t just test adventurers. It records them. And if you're not memorable, you’re mulch.

Whoswho

The Eight Babas of Power

In Kalyna Country, where folk magic and post-apocalyptic mystery intertwine, the Eight Babas of Power stand as matriarchal guardians of the land’s strangest truths. These eccentric, formidable elders each rule over a different town, their personalities as distinct as the relics they protect. Whether guiding with cosmic insight, matchmaking with undead charm, or laying down frontier justice with spell-slamming revolvers, the Babas are equal parts protectors, meddlers, and living legends. Their influence shapes the spiritual and magical balance of Kalyna Country, and crossing one often means crossing them all.

Cosmic Baba



Alexander “Aleck” Molchan, better known as the Cosmic Baba, is a stargazing, cosplay-obsessed arcane powerhouse who guards the UFO landing pad in St. Paul. Clad in a starry robe over a lumberjack shirt and horn-rimmed glasses, he looks more like a fan-con fixture than a magical heavyweight—but don’t let that fool you. Aleck is a gentle, lawful good soul with a deep yearning to make first contact with actual extraterrestrials, offering aid to any who share even a whisper of alien knowledge. A master of arcane and cosmic forces, he hovers through the air, deflects magic like a pro, and throws around Gamma Blasts and reality-bending spells with nerdy enthusiasm. Just don’t challenge him to a costume party—you’ll lose, and he’ll still bring the fog machine.

Gothic Baba



Vera Polyakov, the Gothic Baba, is a black-garbed necromancer with a limp, a heart full of garlic-scented compassion, and dominion over the Great Mundare Sausage. Though she channels the grim art of White Necromancy, her magic is used for nourishment, resurrection, and romantic meddling more than malice. She commands corpsemen with uncanny ease, acting as a quiet architect of peace between the living and the dead. Despite her mournful aura and poetic leanings, Vera is an unabashed matchmaker who champions love in all forms and has little patience for heartbreakers. Kind, clever, and deeply haunted, she is a reluctant legend of the wastes—one part mournful aunt, one part death-powered deli matron.

Industrial Baba



Once a beloved elder named Helen Chornyi, the Industrial Baba lives on as a towering iron construct animated by soul-forged magic and Trollitariot devotion. Though encased in steel and bound to the bio-metallic mushroom fortresses of Vilna, her heart remains warm—if overbearing. She is a meddlesome matron who helps with a heavy hand, frequently making decisions for others “for their good.” Kind, clever, and practically immovable, she is a master of industrial magic and battlefield control, channeling spells through her massive frame like a living forge. Rumors persist that carrying a metal mushroom may allow her to travel—but until then, she rules her domain with stern affection and iron resolve.

Mischief Baba



George Netudyhata, the Mischief Baba, is a charming old trickster wrapped in blue jeans, suspenders, and the scent of wood shavings, with a ghostly dog always at his side and a glint of playful wisdom in his eye. Guardian of the Great Mallard Duck of Andrew, George is both a prankster and a protector, delighting in harmless thefts, misdirections, and "teachable moments" designed to help others grow. While he may bargain with sly grins and vanishing goods, he is fiercely loyal to children and will mete out justice to anyone who harms them. Underneath the mischief lies a strict code: every deal he makes is honored to the letter, and perhaps even the spirit if you earn his respect. Expect tricks, illusions, and laughter—so long as you’re not on the wrong side of his dog’s teeth.

Porcupine Baba



Ester Kishka, the Porcupine Baba, is a camouflage-clad recluse with a tassel-fringed jacket that bristles into spines when danger draws near. Crouched and squinty, she skulks through the wilderness like a spirit of caution and sharp lessons, letting her Harvester allies run things while she obsesses over secrets and survival. Though gruff and easily forgotten by outsiders, she’s fiercely loyal once bonded—and bound by an obscure ritual that, if properly performed, obligates her to help. A master of stealth magic and tactical strikes, she’s a prickly ally who favors indirect solutions and painful truths. Just don’t comment on her speech, and you might survive long enough to learn why she always travels with a packed bag and a silent promise.

Rose Baba



Rose Pieroginik, the Rose Baba, is a fiery, plant-bodied powerhouse in shoulder pads and heels, blending 1980s business ambition with arcane charisma and chlorophyll charm. Once a driven entrepreneur, her destiny was derailed by an encounter with the Harvesters, and she survived only by transferring her soul into a pod person’s form. Now the glamorous guardian of the Giant Perogy, she runs a bustling tourist-trap restaurant with a smile, a pitch, and a secret hunger for the next big opportunity. Fiercely persuasive and disarmingly friendly, she can charm crowds with pheromones or crush minds with spells. Of all the Babas, she’s the one most likely to offer you a contract—and the one you least want to disappoint.

Silver Baba



The Silver Baba, Sophie Obbizhysvit, guardian of the Great Pysanka of Vegreville, is a radiant elder wrapped in shimmering runes and divine insight, serving as the spokesperson and spiritual compass for the Babas of Power. Once forged by hardship, she now channels her strength into divination and justice, loathing arrogance and silently orchestrating poetic downfalls for bullies. Her gleaming attire stuns both in style and in combat, and her gaze can paralyze the unwise. Though reserved, she grants favors to those who uncover her hidden truths, appearing like a vision for a single round to tip fate’s scales. With foresight in her pocket and humility in her heart, the Silver Baba sees what others dare not dream.

Western Baba



Clad in worn leather, spurred boots, and grit-soaked wisdom, the Western Baba, Helen Gretzsky, is the arcane gunslinger of the eight—part wizard, part frontier legend. A master of evocation and raw force magic, she blends spellwork with sharpshooting, her long-bore revolver doubling as a spellcasting focus and symbol of justice. Gruff but good-hearted, she rides the line between law and freedom, protecting the overlooked and putting down the wicked with a steady hand and a flash of cyan flame. She’s seen strange things out on the range—stranger still if you know where to dig—and she doesn't hesitate to act when fate draws its gun first. Respect her boundaries, and you’ll find no more faithful ally this side of the Hodge Line.

Beyond the Babas - Key NPCs of Kalyna Country

Coach Danya Belski



Solstice Gym-Theologian of the New Cimmerians

Coach Belski is built like a shrine and talks like your favorite gym teacher crossed with a mystic firebrand. A revered mentor among New Cimmerians, he runs “Temple of the Rep” inside an abandoned curling rink-turned-sanctuary, where squat racks share space with votive candles and protein altars. He preaches the gospel of discipline through exercise, quoting ancestral sayings between sets and insisting that spiritual enlightenment starts with proper form.  Known for blessing barbell plates before competitions and officiating the sacred Trial by Burnt Barbell, Belski trains youth not just to lift—but to lift with purpose. He believes everyone has a “deadlift destiny,” and if you don’t know yours yet, he’ll help you sweat it out.

Plot Hook: Coach Belski’s prized anvil-dumbbell relic, the Burden of Saints, has been stolen before the Solstice Trials, and all the gym mirrors are now showing scenes of failure—some prophetic, some forgotten. To recover it, the party must track the thief through rival gym-cults, shadowboxing spirits, and a weightlifting ghost who refuses to rest until someone finally hits their PR.

Father Melosky



The iron backbone of Mundare’s Orthodoxy—a broad-shouldered priest who quotes saints mid-grapple and leads sermons with bruised knuckles and blessed sweat. Once a humble Basilian monk, he now trains “devotional wrestlers” in the Basilica-Bunker’s holy gymnasium, delivering faith through footwork and fearsome forearms. While the townsfolk respect his strength, they whisper about the day he knocked out a demon mid-prayer... and smiled.

Plot Hook:
During the Feast of St. Demetrius, an initiates' match ends in a vision of fire and betrayal etched in sweat on the gym walls. Father Melosky needs help uncovering whether it’s prophecy—or punishment for loving the fight too much.

 

Pauly PackenPocks,



 

The slick-talking, deal-making meat mogul of Mundare, is the founder and face of PackenPocks—the post-apocalyptic prairie’s most infamous meat processing empire. Charismatic, cutthroat, and always ready with a handshake or a sales pitch, Pauly rose to prominence after the collapse of inter-provincial trade barriers, flooding the market with his vacuum-sealed meats and catchy jingle: “Pick me up a PackenPocks!” Though he paints himself as a visionary feeding the nation, locals know him as a wheeler-dealer with a golden tongue and a silver knife, always angling for the next big contract, relic, or loophole. Rumors swirl about just what kind of meat makes it into a PackenPocks pack—but Pauly smiles, pats your back, and says, “Don’t worry, it’s local.”

Plot Hook:
A rival distributor has gone missing after accusing PackenPocks of selling “miracle meat” that doesn’t spoil—and might not die. Pauly hires the party to clear his name, but every clue leads deeper into the meatworks, where the sausages hum and the vats breathe.

 Kalyna Country Quest Hooks

The following are 10 playable quest hooks for adventuring parties traveling through Kalyna Country, each rooted in folklore, magical surrealism, and post-Hodgepocalyptic eccentricity. Use them as one-shots, campaign arcs, or side plots along the Relic Roadshow.

The Pickled Prophecy

A barrel of enchanted dill pickles begins whispering accurate predictions—then goes silent. The villagers believe the final message warned of a betrayal during the Solstice Feast. Now everyone’s a suspect, and the pickles are missing.

Trial by Barbell

A New Cimmerian gym-camp goes quiet after an initiation rite leaves the forest trembling. Rumors speak of a cursed barbell that lifted the lifter instead. Locals need someone to recover it before the next flexquake.

Relic Roadshow Sabotage

One of the Solstice Race checkpoints—the Giant Duck—is missing its living keychain again. But this time, the duck is laying decoy eggs filled with psychic traps. Why? And who’s tampering with the course?

The Singing Stove’s Lullaby

A villager accidentally left stew cooking in the Singing Stove and woke up speaking an extinct language, and can’t stop. Worse, their dreams now broadcast locally. The stove must be appeased before it starts a psychic storm.

The Sausage Knight Has Gone Rogue

The enchanted Kielbassa Golem of Mundare, normally a protector, has wandered off muttering strange anti-orthodoxy poetry. The Orthodox want it sanctified. The PackenPocks want it weaponized. The Baba wants you to ask it what’s wrong.

Ghost Wheat Harvest

A golden field has sprouted overnight in a zone scorched by leyfire decades ago. Locals who try to reap it disappear, replaced by smiling doubles. The field sings at night. The didukhs are starting to sway.

The Perogy Pact

Rose Baba has struck a temporary alliance with a rogue Corpseman band—but a love triangle, a cursed recipe, and a stolen soul-storage tupperware have thrown everything off. Unpack the emotional mess or risk undead litigation.

The Root-Choked Chapel Awakens

Prayers muttered in the wrong tone have reawakened the sentient root system. The chapel now preaches fire-and-brimstone sermons through wind chimes and tree bark. The villagers are starting to agree. Intervention is required.

Raiders of the Lost Recipe

A Living Recipe scroll from Redbog Hollow has gone missing, rumored to grant immortality through soup. Several factions want it. Unfortunately, it’s now in the belly of a Thornslither with a taste for poetry.

Return of the Baba's Scar

A psychic eclipse has caused the Baba’s Scar to start rewriting local reality. Trees turn into doors. People find versions of themselves arguing in mirrors. A brave team must descend into the crater to stitch the storylines back together—or be edited out of history.